Chunk, Deep to Sloth.....TOUCHDOWN!

So the Lions decide to go Hollywood this time around.  Up to this point, college players with relevant football quarterback experience have not panned out for the Lions (Long, Ware, Harrington).  Why not change the strategy and start drafting former child actors?  Enter Jeff Cohen, who played "Chunk" in the 1985 hit "GOONIES."  

Cohen was actually taken #1 overall in the 2009 entry draft a couple of weeks ago by the Detroit Lions.  To avoid another first round blunder, the Lions decided not to actually draft Matthew Stafford, but to draft the one person in the world who looks most like him.

At this point, nobody is sure about his arm strength, his mobility, or his ability to read defenses.  But let's be honest.  None of that has ever mattered before, so what's the difference?  He has as good a shot as anybody before him, and he's actually going to be learning under a legitimate offensive mind in Scott Linehan.  Linehan should be able to tutor him in the areas of timing, out routes, and check downs.  He'll be fine.  He has Calvin Johnson and Brandon Pettigrew.  Kevin Smith is a workhorse runner.  Just get the ball to somebody.  Manage the game.

The chances of this plan working aren't any worse than the old way of doing things.  Come on, how excited will we be when we see the first 'Chunk' (Sorry Daunte, that's Cohen's name) to CJ TD?  There won't be a Daunte Culpepper Arm rolling dance, there will be a TRUFFLE SHUFFLE in the endzone.